LIFE BEHIND MY LENS
On September 9th it has been one year that I signed the contract for my apartment in Paris. But that's not the only step I took on that sunny Friday afternoon. On the very same day "LIFE BEHIND MY LENS" went online based on the first post "To whom it may concern". Since; I did publish more than 50 further posts based on about a hundred pictures, I officially run out of pictures last spring, I did pen and publish my deepest thoughts always trying not to turn myself inside out and I do have faithful readers.
When I look back on that first year in Paris many things have happened and foremost many things have changed. So did the blog. While the first six months I only did post a selection of pictures and thoughts from the past (which is pretty easy due to the huge stock of pictures and I had so much to tell), I had to turn the page and adapt myself to the situation of arriving in the present. Those who can read between the lines, they did observe the lack of drama in the more recent posts and that I did let go instead of holding on to things I cannot change anyway.
The hardest part is to maintain a blog and its style though you are changing. Today I am no longer willing or needing to share as much of my privacy, I no longer need to prove myself right and I am no longer attending every argument I am invited to. I had promised to myself that I would stray true to myself and I did :
This summer I have been questioning myself a lot. I even wondered if I should not simply close it as I did not really knew how to handle the change. I did ask others but that did not bring me much further as they were telling me what they would do (with good intentions of course) but that was not what I wanted. I did what I always do (and always do wrong), ask around in order to catch as many opinions in order to make the right choice. Until one day I just asked myself : "but what do I want?" because when you don't know what harbor you're aiming for, no wind is the right wind! and you even may lose yourself.
So I did breathe, take some time off and let myself go. And in those moments alone, I remembered the most evident. It is about the life behind MY lens and it is to whom it may concern. As written in the Prologue: "So this blog is for those who wish to go beneath the surface (at their peril)."
I cannot and I don't have to please everyone anyway and initially the creation of the blog was my first statement of I don't even want to anymore.
So; No I won't stop the articles and only put the pictures, No I won't stop the pictures and only put the articles (wtf ???), No I won't create a facebook page only for the blog, No I won't tell my life in order to catch more attention, No I won't put the where, when and how and no I don't want to make it popular. I am NOT ATTENDING the mainstream. This is limited edition, always has been and always will be.
A year ago, someone told me "A blog is even worse than Facebook, it is self-centered, all this me, myself and I stuff". Well, yes of course. It is my project, my pictures and my opinion. Feel free to join or not. One day, when I will have written many chapters, turned many pages and last but not least made my closure by writing an Epilogue, I'll print this project as a book and those who always did follow will get a copy.
As a finish line, I'll quote once more Oscar Wilde : "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!"