Thursday, June 21, 2012

PASSÉ IMPARFAIT


10 PM. 30 square meters. Not enough light. Still no decoration. Me, Myself, (my shadow due to all the lights I have turned on in order to create some articial brightness)... and my camera. I look at her - she looks at me (at least I am telling myself that she does). Despair. No picture in weeks. No inspiration. No moment of creative fulfilment. Emptiness. Are we history ? Does our story belong to the past ? What about the Blog ? Maybe some pictures out of the archives. Temptation. No. Still not.

11 PM. A result aaaand creative fulfilment!!
I did dig in my archives. The one's in my head. And I remembered this tiny thing I have always wanted to picture, that I am keeping in my sewing box in order to keep the needles together. So I told to my desperate Canon (one of those desperate moments where you talk to yourself or things in order to grab at least some motivation) "it's now or never, show me what you can, your slogan is CANON, YOU CAN! isn't it ? so there you go".

We did have starting difficulties and I almost ended up in a struggle with my own shadow but we made it. In the end I am pretty proud of the result. A professional may tell that this shot isn't worth a penny, my Dad would definitely tell me that on a technical level .... but I don't care. I love it. It has this old-school look due to the black and white and mainly because of the glimmering in the background (I know it's noise and considered as a mistake due to the lack of light). To me it is absolutely perfect, though it did not at all end up as I intended to.

Just like the story of your life. There is no master plan. Life and its coincidences always gets you. Because (at least in my case), when you look backwards, it never ended up the way you had planned to. And it is definitely not perfect, for sure. But it's your story and it makes you who you are. "I wish I had / I should have done/ If I only had ... "
Ifs and should haves have never been healthy for all mankind.

Sur ce, raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways!
because life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride.